Not that kind of fetish, what kind of sick people are you?! I was talking about this kind of fetish:
fet-ish nounAfter an angiogram last month discovered a torn arterial valve, Pops-in-law had a wee bit of open heart surgery this week to have it replaced. He is doing amazingly well and is being sent home from the hospital after only 4 days. In case you were not aware (and I was not until this request came my way) that when a valve is replaced they can be harvested from either pigs or cows and as you probably already guessed, Pops-in-law got some beef. So Mister Vonkysmeed suggested that I could just "whip out" a little cow toy for him to put a smile on his face. I suspect the humor will be most enjoyed by my Mister, but whatever it takes to help everyone get through this stressful event.
an object (as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical powers to protect or aid its owner; broadly: a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence
Now on to the crafty bit... I used a free pattern, Fabio Frog, from Lion Brand for the head, body and arms and for the snout ears and horns I used Chibi Cow by Marika Allely. Why did I not just use the cow pattern you ask? Well, I was lazy and wanted to make as few pieces as possible and this seemed the easiest way to go for me (the cow pattern has the head and body crocheted separately and had more rows to do-yes, I am that lazy). They were both very easy to follow and the cow was done in a day. I added on my own tail, just poked some yarn around a few crochet stitches, then braided it and ended with a nice knot. Last of all I found some pretty checked ribbon recycled from an old floral decoration to tie around Bessie's neck, now if only I had a bell...
I did suggest embroidering stitches along the cow's chest, but Mister Vonkysmeed thought that might be a step too far for his conservative father. All right, but if the Mister ever needs something like this, it is getting surgery stitches!