So you want me to knit you something...

Oh, you want me to make you something, do you now?  Well, you have to be knit-worthy for me to do so.  What is knit-worthy you ask?  Let me enlighten you, it is being deserving of my time and skill to craft something unique just for you.  Yes, I am a stay at home mom, and yes I may have more down time than you (okay that was funny, as if I have down time with two kids under 5!), yes I have the skill-set, and yes, I can't sit still for 2 seconds so am always knitting/crafting but none of this means I will necessarily make something for you.  Hand crafted items take a lot of time and care and not everyone can appreciate that fact.  Although I enjoy making items with my craftiness, if I am going to spend my time making something for you I need to be reassured of a few things first:

• You will wear it, use it, and enjoy it.  If it is destined for the back of the closet or the bottom drawer of your dresser than you can forget about me knitting/crocheting you anything.  This doesn't just mean if you don't like it and want to hide it before someone thinks you actually chose it, this also means that if you love it, use it, please don't hide it away as too 'precious' to use!
• It will not end up in a garage sale with the tag 'reduced to .25 cents' or donated to the local thrift store.
• You will make sure to wash it properly, if I advised you upon gifting you with the item that it would be best to turn inside out while washing and dry flat, please do so.  If it is a hand-wash item that you threw in the washer and dryer thus turning it into a cabbage patch doll sized felt apparel item, don't even talk to me for awhile, I will have heard the yarn screaming and know what you have done!  And don't count on getting anything else made for you for a very long time, if ever!
• If I have made you something before, you darn well better have thanked me for it.  I don't require toe kissing or candy & flowers but at least a "Thank you so much, this must have taken you a lot of time!" will suffice.  Lil' Miss has perfected the thank you speech and it more often than not results in a new project being cast on for her.
• If you effusively admire a gift I have given to another friend/family member who has already been deemed knit-worthy this might move you up to consideration as being knit-worthy yourself.  All crafters love praise and I am no exception.
• Have a baby.  Knitters and crocheters love to make stuff for babies, and even if you are not knit-worthy (yet) your unborn progeny most definitely is.  Since I am done having little ones (and the ones I have are not babies anymore, sniff-sniff) but love all the cute baby patterns available, I need someone to make them for, and if you have some offspring you'll get something made for them!
• I just plain have to like you enough.  There, I said it, if you are an acquaintance who I see once or twice a year it doesn't matter how nice you are or how much you admire my knitting (although if both are true why aren't you more than an acquaintance anyway?) don't count on a handmade item for you under my Christmas tree or around your birthday.

So if you want something from me on gift giving occasions, review the above list and remember it.   Even though I said it wasn't necessary, candies (the See's assorted chocolates are my favorite) will always grease the knitting needles in your favor, just sayin!