Thursday, June 3, 2010
As I sit here planning for her birthday party I am left wondering where the time went. She is five. Five years gone by in the blink of an eye. I remember so clearly when I had just started my maternity leave, I used to lie down on this very couch and nap while awaiting her arrival. How did we get from there to here? And why do I feel like I missed out on something? No matter that I have been lucky enough to have been a full time mom since she was 18 months old I still feel like I have lost. That I have been so busy with the minutiae of life, all those little things that make up the routine of each day that I somehow missed her growing up from a baby to this delightful little girl I get to spend every day with.
Logically I know it's not true, I was there every step of the way and have missed out on nothing, but that feeling is still there, niggling at the back of my mind. I adore her just as she is now, my precious one and only daughter and I wouldn't trade her for anything, she is a treasure to me, tantrums and all. That said, I miss my baby, my toddler, and soon I will miss my preschooler too. I now understand what The Momster meant when she said she missed her babies, I am right there with her now in missing mine. Lil' Miss is growing up much too fast for me to cope with at times, but I am so proud of the person she is becoming. So happy fifth birthday and congratulations on your graduation from preschool little one, your Mommy will treasure these memories of you forever.